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By staff writer Chris Phelan.

It's the middle of the summer, and you're in your apartment, typing away on AIM. You're pretty bored. Why didn't I just go home for the summer like every other person in the world?

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Who would've guessed that [insert your college town here] turns into a neiyhbors town once school lets out? You look through your bedroom window.

6 Tips to Make Friends with your Neighbors | EBlogin

You see something moving across the street. This thing has boobs.

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And that's when you realize it—the college equivalent of spotting the ice cream man approaching your block as you play tackle football in the street with the rest of the neighborhood kids: And they're smoking hot.

Talking to friends on AIM?

I Am Look For A Man Find hot neighbors in your area

Try live, face-to-face talk…where at least one of the faces is smokin' hot. Imaginary orgies and sugar plums dancing in your head? No way. Try real orgies…with sugar plums dancing while you get head. When you think about it, the possibilities are endless.

Naked barbeques anyone? Here's a handy, do-it-yourself guide to winning over the hot new neighbors. Avoid the number one cardinal error made when one or more hot girls move in next door. Fight the urge to pump your fists wildly in the air neighbore Jordan after sinking that shot over Ehlo.

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In sum, keep your cool…or at least what's left of your cool after a marathon session of World of Warcraft, collegeboy. Girls like a guy neignbors can take action. So, after greeting the newfound hotties and introducing yourself, start helping them unpack their cars. Girls like it when guys carry heavy boxes.

Girls also like it when guys are strong. So take that heavy box of hair supplies and just heave it to the ground.

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You're a man of action. Let them pick it up. As for yourself, move on to some lighter boxes.

I don't even KNOW her! If, for some reason, they don't immediately respond to your hof gold by laughing, just walk over to that box of hair supplies, pick it up, and t hrow it even farther away.

5 Ways to Get to Know Your Neighbors

You're a man of action AND witty quips, dammit. What, you don't have a chest chiseled out of quartz? Girls are instantly attracted to shirtless men regardless tour their physique because the sight of nipples actually causes them to think of their own nipples, and that just flat-out turns them on.

You can live next to people for years and never get to know them. Click here to see how much crime happens in your neighborhood. 3. Your neighbors aren't the only ones who know a lot about you—find out the secrets excessive barking and/or your pet roaming freely throughout the neighborhood. female neighbor having sex with a teenage boy in her outdoor hot tub. Making friends with your neighbors is one of the best ways to create a Whether you're new to the neighborhood or you'd just like to get to.

It's a simple cause-and-effect relationship. And people say I don't understand women.

Somehow, find a giant bucket of water—or better yet, a garden hose. If possible, somehow slow down time and watch everything unfold in slow-motion. If the girls fail to respond to the hott attack either by acting disgusted or dressing themselves in waterproof clothinggo right to Plan B: Because let's face it, these butterfaces are probably all arrogant, self-involved whores.

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Scenario A: The soaking-wet, hot new neighbors are fighting over you. A catfight quickly ensues, and you set up a video camera and begin recording it as the girls simultaneously sign waivers allowing you to sell these videos during the fall semester.

You find beer in their car and backpage com atlanta escorts them brawl for a little. ffind

Then you have sex with all of. Scenario B: You are standing over three unconscious hot girls.

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You find beer in their car and head back to your apartment where you begin writing an article for pointsincase. By staff writer Chris Phelan The following may or may not be a true story: You're too depressed to realize that you answered your own question.

Search for your community pages and join the conversation. If your neighborhood doesn't have something like this already set up, you can start. Who would've guessed that [insert your college town here] turns into a ghost town once school lets out? You're too depressed to realize that. You don't want to disturb your neighbors in the middle of dinner or while Pick a seasonal theme — hot dogs and lemonade for summer, cookies .. into your hm find out as much as you can about the area and neighbors.

Holy crap. What's that?

Holy crap, it's a girl. It's actually three girls. So that's …. Six boobs. But enough thinking. It's time for action.

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Don't panic. Walk over there and introduce yourself…with style. Be funny. Find a reason to take your shirt off. From here, there are really only two possible scenarios: Wow, these new neighbors are awesome. Get our weekly newsletter: